Manus Sinistra I. (Editio Princeps Vol. 1 No. 1 April 1988)
In this Issue
· Solarwarriors
· Millenium Limerick
· Quote..Unquote
· Jumble
Here it is – issue #1 of the revived Left Hand
N.B.: Any bias in this issue is the result of the co-ordinator’s geographical position. IT CAN BE RECTIFIED ONLY BY YOUR WRITING-IN!
SOLARWARRIORS
The fate of the Earth is in their hands.
Ger Palmer tells the epic tale of SOLAR:
It is now lost in the annals of history just whose bright idea it originally was to tackle the solar system, but a swarthy crew of Aer Lingus warriors, led by The Three Sages (Larry Scanlan, Curley Finucane and Mo McDermott), set forth in league with those from beyond the big ocean to tackle the intricate evils and convoluted complexities of airline revenue.
Under the direction of Tom the Man, the volunteers were recruited. There was Sharon the Amazon, the Female Fred, John of the Fine Arts and Martin (who wasn’t the cook). There was Paul the Poet (at least he thought he was) and Cormac bringing up the rear. With the wisdoms of Ger the Sorcerer and Peelo the Master of Numbers, the ranks were almost filled. The final pieces were left to the Virgin Soldiers: Doyle the Aged, La Collins and the Brit. At last, after a few trips to the Workshop for arming the weapon-master Callery and his crew, they were ready to do battle.
Boldly they set forth, jutting their chins to the setbacks encountered by the previous expedition. On into the unknown and even further they travelled, labouring under the weight of printout and paperwork, conquering design unit after design unit and ever onward into the realm of the change request, the toil unending, the work abending in what may come to be known as the forty man-years war.
Their progress was not without casualty. The mercenaries were first to go: Conor, Mary B and Fitzer xxxxx x k, and in the legendary Battle of Airplus the cost was dearly felt with the loss of Curly the Sage, the Number Master, the Poet and the most dogged of the mercenaries: Stanley (I presume).
Finally, and so cruelly close to their final goal, the fair Fred, Cormac and another of the Sages were stuffed. But the price was paid and victory was won. On the first day of this year the first breath of life was felt in the Solar system and three months later Lifts was raised to equal heights.
But do not sleep heavily tonight, all ye of IMS. The error reports were by way of omens, there may be more to come.
In this, the age of the sequel, how can we avoid: PHASE II???
Glossary:
Solar System: Sales On-Line Account Report System
- Phase I comprising Sales, Coupon Evaluation and Lifts. Objective of more rapid and more accurate revenue determination.
Oceanic allies: CP Air – now Canadian Airlines International
- Original development partners on SOLAR
Design Unit: During design, the system was separated into logical sections for ease of manipulation.
Airplus: Feeding off Solar Sales information – a system for billing users of the Airplus credit card.
Forty Man Year War: Forty man-years is the actual figure of system’s resources investment, resulting in a total of 90 online progrms and 130 background progs. The final total is 100 man-years of joint development and user resources.
- The war to end all wars? Certainly the largest Aer Lingus system developed in-house to date.
(For a more technical account, see our sister paper, Aer Scéala)
Material Witness
Pat O’Molloy reports
The Materials Management module of Sceptre went live on Saturday 9th April, This was the culmination of two years of effort.
Everyone in DBD helped with the project, but the main team consisted of Antoinette Brady, Phil Brophy, Jim Durham, Padraic Doyle and Martin Cooke, together with Brian Sweeney of Ops Research who developed some very sophisticated models.
The main players from Computing Services were Gary Griffin, Mick Denihan and Jack Sheridan.
This was a very significant project, involving a new Sceptre module from Northwest Airlines, a new module designed and developed in-house, an upgrade of over 300 other Sceptre programs, together with a major Data Base reorganisation.
Reaction from users is very good. It’s predicted that the system will enable a substantial reduction in our technical inventory, And even at this early stage, other airlines are showing keen interest in the system, An on-line demo is organised for Minneapolis this week.
SOCIAL and PERSONAL
BOOZE-UPS . . . . Cathal Convery on 27 May in ALSAA . . . Gary Griffin on June 3, same venue . . . both Friday nights . . . . .
The Class of ’80 had their annual reunion on Friday, 27 April. They are: Cathal Convery, Paul Casey, Ken O’Connor, Cathal O’Connell, Derek McTeigue and Michael Denihan.
After drinks in the Clubhouse and in O’Neills, they went to practise their Italian in a café, Torcadero’s. The 3 married men (Mick, Leroy and Derek) disappeared, leaving the other buckos to besiege Gigi’s.
Ken remembered that back in ’82, they tried to predict who would marry when. They were right about Mick, and a mite premature with C.O’C. But they had questionmarks after El Caballo’s name. Nostrodamus would be proud of ‘em. Those questionmarks are still in evidence.
Ken had to fly back for the reunion. And next year, Chuck will be far away. So will the class of ’80 be able to celebrate their 9th birthday?
Don’t ask me.
Home News . . .
Most people find buying a house a moving experience,. They like to share their joy and euphoria with their chums in an intimate, low-key affair called a HOUSE-WARMING. They then have to look for a new house/neighbours who will talk to them etc., but that’s beside the point.
The point is, see, that there at least five people who recently bought a house, but haven’t warmed it yet. So we’re giving them what you might call a house-warning: throw a party soon before chez-vous becomes a giant barbecue.
Here are the names of the offenders:
- Cathal O’Connell
- John Collins
- Fintan Roche
- Dave Broderick
- Conor Harrington
MANUS Sinistra will publish details of the house-warmings and the unofficial barbecues as they arise.
Hitch-List!
Here it is: your cut out and keep guide to those weddings-of-the-year!!! One down and five to go.
Any late additions should be advised to the Wedding Co-ordinator, Deirdre Hayden.
July, September and December are still free – Dave Broderick please note.
Fintan Roche . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 April
Paul Daly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 05 May
Jackie O’Grady . . . . . . . . . . 10 June
Cathal O’Connell . . . . . . . .31 August
Paul Keogh . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 October
John Collins . . . . . . . . . . . . .26 November
PAGE 3 LOVELY !!!
Here it is – your chance to vote for the body of your choice, the body you want to see TOPLESS (or at most, wearing a hat) on Page 3 of the next issue.
We will approach the person with most votes, and ask them to pose as our LEFT-HAND-MAN or LEFT-HAND-MAIDEN, depending on sex. If the winner demands money, we may have to launch an appeal for funds.
Remember – only MANUS Sinistra gives you the chance to show what a lecherous, dirty-minded article you are.
My name is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I vote for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NB: Anyone who votes in this poll automatically declares themselves willing to pose if they receive the most votes in the poll.
Ops-a-daisy!
Joseph McDonagh writes about OPS section:
Like all ISD areas, the OPS team is slaving to achieve its deadlines, with more work CAR’d and waiting.
1. A major Flight Planning module is being prepared for load in May, covering intricate fuel calculations to improve its accuracy. Segments are in ACP, MVS (batch) and FOCUS. (Brian Carolan, Jackie O;Grady, Eddie Kehoe, Paul Keogh)
2. A facility to Check-in passengers on the BA system (BABS) from any ASTRAL set (using Host-to-Host facilities) is due for load in June (ACP). (Colm Kilgallon, Cathal Convery, Pat Cousins, Judy Whelan, Dave Whelan)
3. Cutover to the SITA Baggage Handling and Management System (BAHAMAS) is set for early May. We’ll be the first airline to use PCs for access. Thanks to Gerry Smith for ACP/HTH installation. (Colm Kilgallon)
4. Catering recently cutover to a PC-based Stock Control system, and we are now doing parallel cutover tests for the PC-based Airline Bar Control system on a NOVELL LAN. (Tony Murray).
5. We’ve examined Crew Management systems available for purchase with a view to helping Flight Ops, Flight Services and Ops Control cope with increased schedule movements. Stage 1 of the study is complete.
6. Time and Attendance System for Catering is an off-the-shelf purchase with some internal work to automate the interface between the system and payroll and sick-leave records. Installation is expected to start soon.
LOOK AFTER YOUR EQUIPMENT
Tome Brogan talks frankly about the system he’s installing in the GARAGE:
Maintenance Services have bought a computer system to control the maintenance of buildings and equipment. The hardware is a Motorola mini-computer.
All the hardware is in the Gargae Building – in the Stores, the StoresOffice, the Garage Control Office and in the Building Control/Admin Office.
The software is a customised version of RAPIER (written by RMS, who are selling it to BA), based on ORACLE, a relational database management system.
The system has 3 components: Assets – recording details of the buildings and equipment; Work Control – setting up and scheduling of jobs; Stores – control of the stock used in maintenance jobs.
The 3 implementation phase are:
1) Stores. All data has been loaded, and the computer system has replaced the Kardex system in the Stores Office. Each month, updated prices from the Mainframe are downloaded to a floppy and input to the Motorola through a PC.
2) Garage Maintenance. All data on assets and jobs is loaded. The system should go live this week. It is expected that some software changes will be requested from RMS.
3) Building Maintenance. All data on assets has been loaded. Job data is expected to be loaded by end-May.
DON’T FORGET – IF YOU’RE NOT IN, YOU CAN’T WHINGE
(“There’s nothing ‘bout US!”)
Tony Murray asked the coordinator to write a Limerick about the millennium for his 11-year old son’s schoolwork. Le Pen came up with this:
“It’s a thousand years since a Viking
Found Dublin was much to his liking.
I hope you’ve in store
A thousand years more
Of looting and raping and striking.”
“QUOTE . . . UNQUOTE”
Those smoke-detectors that went up recently are actually bugs, xxxxxxk. And they’ve been working really well everywhere – except on the 4th floor. The poor people who have to monitor conversations don’t know what to make of half of what we say – and the other half they burn.
Wisely, they got in touch with MANUS Sinistra. We print a selection of their eavesdroppings (we’re not going to print their other droppings). If anyone can explain these quotes, we advise them to keep quiet about it. Their explanation might appear in the next issue . . .
“What’s a leg-over between friends?” Cormac M. Costello
“I was eating into his (Cormac’s) hands.” Freda O’Reilly
“I don’t look at men’s bums.” Judi Whelan (not for publication)
“This is Paul Stanley and he wants me to go hill-walking with him.” Julie Kirwan on a Personal Effectiveness course (seems to have worked!)
“Don’t forget to say I was President of the Dublin Camera Club.” Paul Stanley
“Your best will always be good enough for me.” Freda O’Reilly to Paul Casey (Q. Is this a compliment or an insult?)
“Are you going to wear something in future?” Jackie O’Grady to the co-ordinator.
In the next edition of your fun-packed, soaraway Manus Sinistra:
Two EXCLUSIVE articles by Deirdre Hayden . . .
“I knew Paul Casey when he was a loud-mouthed, immature poser”
and
“Some People Never Change”
Answer to JUMBLE
